Feeling sexually confident is key for a fulfilling intimate life. However, many people struggle with feeling insecure in bed and with their sexuality. Sexual confidence looks different for everyone, but generally involves feeling comfortable, capable, and satisfied when it comes to sex and your body.
The good news is there are many ways you can start feeling more sexually confident - it just takes some effort. Building real sexual confidence requires working on your self-perception, improving sexual skills, addressing any underlying issues, and figuring out what YOU want in bed. With some time and insight, you can gain the confidence to fully embrace and enjoy your sexuality.
In this guide, we’ll explore the various components of sexual confidence and provide science-backed tips for how to feel empowered in your sexuality. Let’s get started!
Table of Contents-
What Does Being Sexually Confident Actually Look Like?
Before diving into how to boost confidence, let’s ground ourselves in what being sexually confident really means.
True confidence in bed comes from within and stems from self-knowledge, self-acceptance, and defined personal values. It’s about feeling capable in your sexuality without needing constant external validation.
Some signs you’re sexually confident include:
Feeling comfortable being naked and engaging in sexual activity
Having a positive body image and self-esteem
Being able to communicate desires, boundaries, and needs
Exploring sexual interests and feeling empowered to seek pleasure
Not letting insecurities or anxiety prevent intimacy
Feeling satisfied with your sex life and sexual relationship
Seeing sex as natural and engaging fully without shame or embarrassment
Sexual confidence does NOT mean being experienced, expertly skilled, or perfectly comfortable 100% of the time. It’s normal to not feel completely confident during first encounters with a new sexual partner, when trying something new, or even on off days.
The key is cultivating an overall sense of confidence and capability when it comes to sex and your sexual self-concept.
How to Boost Sexual Confidence: 15 Science-Backed Tips
Ready to start feeling more empowered in bed and confident in your sexuality? Here are 14 techniques and lifestyle changes to try:
Work on Your Body Image
Having a positive body image is key for sexual confidence. If you’re constantly critiquing your looks during intimate moments, it’s difficult to relax and enjoy the experience fully.
Of course, improving body image is easier said than done with the constant messages about how our bodies “should” look. But there are things you can do to feel better about yourself, including:
Avoid triggers like excessive mirror checking, unrealistic media images, and clothing that makes you self-conscious.
Follow body positive activists and unfollow accounts that spark comparison.
Focus on what your body can DO versus how it looks. Celebrate your strength and health.
Combat negative self-talk and change your inner narrative to be more compassionate.
Spend time naked and take in the beauty of your natural form through mindful mirror exercises.
Prioritize self-care through proper sleep, nutrition, hydration, and movement to feel your best.
The more you can work on self-love and feeling comfortable in your own skin, the more confident you’ll feel when it comes time for intimacy.
Listen to "Pleasure Based Personal Transformation"
Learn About Your Body and Sexual Experience
It’s hard to feel confident about something you don’t understand. Yet comprehensive sex education is sorely lacking.
Make sure you really know your body, how it works sexually, and what brings you pleasure. Explore your sexual interests, learn various techniques, and dispel any myths holding you back.
Books, courses, workshops, and even just researching online can all expand your sexual knowledge. And the more you understand about sex and your unique needs, the more confident you become.
Masturbate and Explore Solo Pleasure
One of the best ways to boost sexual confidence is through self-pleasure. Masturbation helps you learn what turns you on, how your body experiences pleasure, and what touches lead to orgasm.
It’s through masturbation that many people discover their sexual identity and develop sexual self-efficacy. Plus, solo sessions are a safe space to build arousal skills without the pressures of a sexual encounter.
Make self-pleasure a regular practice and don’t hold back on exploring your desires. Use this alone time to tune into your body’s responses and build confidence in eliciting your own enjoyment.
Use Hypnosis to Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind
One powerful but often overlooked technique for cultivating sexual confidence is hypnosis. Hypnosis helps reprogram deep subconscious beliefs that may be sabotaging your sexuality.
Through hypnotic trance, positive suggestions can be planted that override previous negative conditioning around sex, pleasure, and body image. Hypnotic language patterns can evoke new feelings of confidence, self-love, empowerment, and comfort in your skin.
The mind is incredibly suggestible in the theta brainwave state induced by hypnosis. This allows fresh neural pathways and thought patterns around sexuality to take root with repetition.
Custom erotic hypnosis and working with a hypnotherapist can both be effective. Sessions addressing sexuality often employ imagery of you as your confident, ideal sexual self to cement the new beliefs.
The more frequently you reinforce the hypnotic suggestions, the more natural feelings of confidence become. It begins to emanate automatically from your subconscious instead of requiring constant conscious effort.
If insecurities feel ingrained, hypnosis can create a powerful shift at the subconscious level to restore self-assurance around sex. The effects compound over time for lasting confidence.
Use Sex Toys and Accessories to Be More Confident in Bed
Another great path for exploration and learning is through sex toys and accessories. Vibrators, dildos, rings, wands, lubricants, condoms, and more can teach you new sensations while helping build confidence.
Toys allow you to safely experiment with stimulation in ways that hands, mouths, or penises can't necessarily replicate. Finding new paths to pleasure through accessories helps develop sexual capabilities and elevate your experiences.Combine sex toys with HFO hypnosis for the ultimate sexual satisfaction.
Address Any Sexual Dysfunctions
It’s hard to feel sexually empowered if you’re struggling with sexual dysfunctions like low desire, erection difficulties, or difficulty orgasming. These issues breed insecurity and can snowball into worsening confidence.
Rather than ignore frustrating symptoms, address any ongoing sexual problems with your doctor. There are many medical treatments, lifestyle changes, therapies, and holistic approaches that can get you back on track physically.
Tackling sexual function head-on so you can function optimally again is crucial for restoring confidence in your sexual abilities. Erotic hypnosis can be very effective for improving sexual self-esteem associated with sexual dysfunction.
It’s hard to be present and tap into confidence when your mind is flooded with judgments, expectations, and performance anxiety during sex.
Practicing mindfulness - the ability to stay grounded in the moment with open awareness - can short-circuit the unhelpful thoughts sabotaging your sexual confidence.
Try incorporating centering exercises, meditation, and breathwork into your pre-sex routine and during intimacy. Let mindfulness anchor you in the sensual experience so confidence can flow freely.
Exercise and Stay Active
Physical activity is great for your sexual health and confidence on multiple levels. It reduces anxiety, boosts energy and self-esteem, improves body image, and enhances arousal and performance.
Aim for 150 minutes of moderate exercise per week, plus some strength training sessions. It doesn’t have to be intense - even light walking, yoga, pilates, and household chores count.
When you feel strong, capable, and energized from regular movement, it ignites confidence between the sheets.
Communicate About Sex to Feel Sexually Confident
Being able to openly communicate about sex with a trusted partner helps build intimacy and confidence. Don't let shyness, embarrassment, or power dynamics prevent you from expressing your authentic thoughts, desires, and boundaries.
Have ongoing dialogues about your needs, share sexual fantasies, ask for feedback, and discuss how to improve your connection and pleasure. Great communication allows you to experience more fulfilling sex.
And the confidence gained from finding your voice and advocating for your pleasure transfers outside the bedroom too.
Prioritize Self-Care and Happiness to Become More Sexually Confident
When life feels stressful and out of balance, it’s hard to access feelings of sexuality and confidence. Self-care helps manage stress, cultivate happiness, and enable you to show up as your best self.
Figure out what nourishes you - maybe it’s reading, hiking, socializing, relaxing baths, or creative hobbies. Make time to prioritize your needs so you have the mental and emotional bandwidth to feel confident in bed.
Consider Working with a Sexologist to Learn what Sexual Confidence Looks Like
If you’re really struggling with sexual insecurities, working privately with a certified sexologist or sexuality coach can help immensely.
You’ll be able to discuss your concerns judgement-free and gain tailored guidance on building sexual confidence. Having an expert’s support as you unpack negative self-perceptions and learn new skills is invaluable. A sexologist may be able to create sexual hypnosis recordings to help you feel more confident sexually.
Examine Your Sexual History for Sexual Shame
Your past sexual experiences and messages around sexuality while growing up can deeply impact confidence later in life.
Reflect on your early exposure to sex, prior education, cultural/religious views, previous partner interactions, etc. See if any unhealthy messaging or negative experiences might still be fueling subconscious beliefs and shame.
Addressing past programming by reframing incidents and re-establishing new, empowering narratives can profoundly shift your confidence. Consider enlisting a therapist’s help if trauma healing is required.
Consider Sensate Focus Exercises
If anxiety is getting in the way of your sexual confidence, sensate focus exercises may help. This series of structured touch “homework assignments” removes pressure and rebuilds intimacy and trust with a partner.
The initial focus is on taking intercourse off the table and exploring non-sexual touch, free of expectations. Clothes stay on. The emphasis is simply on mindful connection through hand holding, massages, cuddling, etc.
Slowly, gentle sexual touching is incorporated as comfort builds. The exercises allow anxious individuals to push past barriers and access their sexuality in an unrushed way.
Remember Confidence Fluctuates
On your journey to greater confidence, remember it’s perfectly normal to still have fluctuations.
Even the most empowered, self-assured people have days where they don't feel 100% confident about their sexuality or bodies. Confidence isn't static - it moves and shifts.
Don't beat yourself up when you have an off day or experience a setback. Regaining confidence is an ongoing process with ups and downs. Progress isn't always linear.
The key is continuing to move forward, focus on growth, and practice self-compassion. Over time, the confident days will continue to increase as you learn to embody and trust your sexual capabilities.
Focus on Your Sexual Well-Being
Rather than hyperfocusing on confidence alone, aim to improve your overall sexual well-being. This means addressing facets like satisfaction, communication, function, knowledge, acceptance, mindfulness, happiness, and fulfillment.
When you take a holistic view towards cultivating a positive sexuality, confidence will organically blossom as a byproduct.
Stop judging yourself and making confidence the sole end goal. Work on becoming your best sexual self, and self-assurance will follow.
Final Thoughts on Gaining Sexual Confidence
We hope these tips give you a helpful starting point for feeling empowered and confident in your sexuality. But the most important thing is being patient with yourself.
Let go of perfectionism. There is no right timeline for boosting confidence - it's not an overnight process. Simply focus on incremental positive changes through self-care, knowledge, and unpacking old beliefs. And remember, erotic hypnosis can be a lifesaver for sexual self-confidence and well-being.
With time, insight, and compassion, you can move past insecurities and shame to fully own and delight in your sexual capabilities. Your pleasure and fulfillment are worth the journey.
Key Takeaways: Feel Sexually Confident
Improve your body image
Work on self-love and feeling comfortable in your own skin through various exercises.
Learn about your body and sexuality
Study your body's functioning, sexual techniques, and your personal interests to gain knowledge and understanding.
Masturbate and explore self-pleasure
Discover what gives you pleasure through regular solo masturbation sessions.
Use sex toys and accessories
Experiment with toys and accessories to find new paths to arousal, pleasure, and confidence.
Address sexual dysfunctions
Seek treatment for any issues like erectile dysfunction or low desire that may be hurting confidence.
Stay present during intimacy using meditation, breathwork, and grounding techniques.
Exercise and stay active
Regular physical activity enhances self-esteem, arousal, and performance.
Communicate desires and needs
Discuss your authentic thoughts and feelings about sex openly with your partner.
Prioritize self-care and happiness
Reduce stress through nurturing activities so you have mental bandwidth for sexual confidence.
Consider working with a sexologist
Work privately with a sexuality coach or sex therapist to build confidence.
Examine your sexual history
Address unhealthy past messaging or experiences that may be impacting you now.
Try sensate focus exercises
Build intimacy through progressive touching exercises that remove pressure.
Remember confidence fluctuates
Don't judge yourself on off days - confidence ebbs and flows naturally.
Focus on overall sexual well-being
Improve facets like satisfaction, acceptance, knowledge, and fulfillment for organic confidence.
Plant new beliefs around sexuality and body image through hypnotic suggestion.